Bad News for Caffeine Addicts

[xp_phoenix]

Hmmm. The coffee maker in the kitchen seems to have malfunctioned rather spectacularly. I found coffee grounds and coffee everywhere when I went to grab a cup this morning.

Not sure what happened but the machine has been around longer than some of the students so I'd imagine it was it's time.

I'm headed up to the store to pick up a new one but for those who need their fix you may have to go into town to get it or use someone else's.

Comments

[x-beast.livejournal.com]

This would seem to provide me a splendid opportunity to further enhance our necessary academic facilities. In short, it is indeed time for a new coffeemaker- and if you can't see where I'm going with this, then my zeal must seem most peculiar.

The prototype will be prepared within the weekend.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

It's a coffeemaker. What do you need a prototype for?

[x-beast.livejournal.com]

For testing, of course.

While I will implement some limited testing in the field, or as it is better known around here, in the kitchen, I would rather not have it explode when an aromatic pot of coffee overflows.

The final version should be ready within a week of the prototype's completion- perhaps less if you'd like to volunteer to test it out, Miss Van Dyne.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

You want me to test out whether or not your coffeemaker wants to explode in my face?

[x-beast.livejournal.com]

Well, obviously the answer to that would be no. By which I mean it shouldn't blow up in your face.

Of course, my dry sense of wit isn't really translated across the intranet. I'm more or less pulling your leg. I would ensure the pot would not blow up before getting to prototype.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

Is it going to talk? It should totally talk.

[x-beast.livejournal.com]

Did you have someone particular in mind for the voice-over work? I can make a talking coffeemaker, that's not too difficult actually. In fact, that gives me some ideas.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

Ooh, what about the Borg? Or the Daleks? Something all science-fictiony?

[x-beast.livejournal.com]

Perhaps something that won't scare the children? Personally I would be all for exterminating my morning lethargy, or assimilating caffeinated beverage into my blood stream, but some may not enjoy being told that resistance is futile.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

Take away all of my fun, why don't you? I think everyone can handle it, although you're right, they might not all think too much of it. But it would be funny! "You have finished the last cup of coffee. Brew a new pot or you will be assimilated/exterminated!"

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

This obsession with trying to improve everything, including the mundane, is what I both love and fear about you, my darling friend Hank.

You do remember the toaster fiasco back when we were kids...

I still remember picking toast out of hair for a week.

[x-beast.livejournal.com]

I still maintain the stance that the crouton setting would have caught on eventually and was an excellent idea.

[x-squirrel.livejournal.com]

Um... as Monkey Joe came running up to me this morning covered in coffee grounds I think he might have maybe broke it?

[x-beast.livejournal.com]

Then that leaves me with no choice.

This new model must be squirrel proof.

Or perhaps I can install a tiny dispenser for him.

[x-squirrel.livejournal.com]

It's actually really, really hard to squirrel proof something. Trust me, I know these things. Like those bird feeders we have around, it's like a joke to all the squirrels here. They make a game out of it.

[x-beast.livejournal.com]

Oh, Miss Green, that only makes me all the more determined to undermine your minions malicious manipulations on modern technology. Now, it has become a challenge.

As for the squirrel proofed feeders outside, I never took a hand in designing them.

[x-squirrel.livejournal.com]

Okay... have fun? Monkey Joe says he'll beat whatever it is you're planning to do.

And that's true and all, but they're still advertised as being squirrel proof.

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the offer Hank. I'll be interested to see what you dream up.

And Monkey Joe and I will be having a long discussion.

[x-squirrel.livejournal.com]

...He says you have to catch him first.

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

He also knows what I can do, which makes catching someone very easy.

You can run, but you cannot hide, tiny squirrel.